beep boo boo bop boo boo beep

Solace (Instrumental, rough mix) by GypsyClub

i hope mr. krabs enjoys my robot music.

remember this day...

dear reader,

today, i was typing a lab report in the music tech lounge. someone was using the computer next to mine; he was on his facebook page.

"how do you delete your account?" he asked someone standing behind him.

"why would you want to do that?" the person asked puzzlingly.

i will never forget his response: "i don't want to become a vegetable."

i was going through my usual rounds of fb stalking a few minutes ago when i remembered those wise words. "vegetable"--that really struck a dissonant psychological tone. it reminded me of those zombies on life support you find in hospitals. they just sit on the bed so lifelessly as tubes attached to their arms supply their bodies with sustenance that, in reality, only prolongs their lifelessness.

the analogy is obvious. but what it doesn't reveal is that i was willingly sticking those tubes into my arms, living off the social networking fodder that preserved my digital life, but simultaneously distracted me from my--well, you know--real life. because let me tell you, the satisfaction of receiving new notifications cannot outweigh that of realizing the exciting future entailing hard work, which really isn't that hard considering that you're studying what you love, at the school you love, in the city you love. to quote the title of track 9 on in rainbows: "jigsaw falling into place."

oh, facebook, you came so close to stealing some of my pieces--wait, just kidding, you did. but i'm not making that same mistake again. so as of now, i'm taking back what was once mine. and to you i say this: keep your hands off my fucking puzzle. i'm going to finish it without you getting in the way, that's for sure--and it's going to look beautiful when i do because it won't be missing any pieces.

i thought about posting this letter as a goodbye note on fb, in which case i would've waited to see all the virtual thumbs ups and praises before i actually deactivated my account--maybe even set an example for others in danger of becoming vegetables. but i know that that's a deceiving motive because all humans are, to some extent, prideful narcissists bathing in the water of insatiable self-praise. and i'm no exception to that fact as i type this letter (even though only a few people actually read and/or comment on my posts)--because i still need a little bit of approval from others (if anyone will offer me that good stuff), just to reaffirm that i'm a good person. if i didn't, then i would've written this post in a personal journal, and only i would ever read it.

okay, i'm rambling. re-focus, silly boy...

anyway, i'd rather bound this letter to ze blogger, where only a lucky few people can see my mind at work (again with the narcissism...as if i'm really that special) rather than my hundreds of (now ex) facebook friends. because while this letter is partially for you, it's mostly for me. it's a reminder of the more important things in life--a call to live. and if i really want to leave facebook behind, then i can never return--not even for a moment to bid my prideful farewells.

thus, i leave with quiet (but not utterly silent) triumph.

to whoever is reading this: if you feel compelled to congratulate me via comments, please refrain from doing so (you can't, anyway, since i've disabled them). if you're planning on confronting me in person about everything i've said, please think twice (the reverse situation applies as well, and i'm holding myself accountable). today's my personal genesis; i'm kicking facebook 100% out of my life. and i know people will ask me where all my updates went, and i'll have to tell them in the most minimal way possible that'll nonetheless remind me of my pre-genesis self. but please don't add anything more to those pitiful reminders. aside from the occasional "hey, you're not on facebook anymore!", this letter of vindication will be the only connection to my pre-genesis life. it will serve as a worthwhile reminder to keep all this in perspective, so that i'll never turn back on my word.

the future looks prosperous with no vegetable fields in the foreground.

sincerely,

kevin

jackhammers outside my window

now i don't need an alarm clock.

happy easter!

such a pleasant day to remember jesus's resurrection :)